1. There are exceptions to every rule.
2. You are probably not one of these exceptions.
3. There is only one exception to every rule. He is a friend of mine named Mateo, and you shouldn't try to figure him out because it won't work. Just enjoy him while he lasts.
4. Do what you know is right for yourself, and you will have done everybody else as much good as you are obligated.
5. Doing what's best for you is, in the long run, doing what's best for those you influence.*
6. If you are going to do something bad, we would all appreciate it if you did it with some style.
7. If you do what you know is right, you will be happier than you would be if you hadn't.
8. You are not everybody else. If you try to be everybody else, you will end up still being yourself and wishing more than ever that you weren't.
9. Suicide is not a good idea.
10. There is always something to do.
11. The Universe is in a constant state of almost making sense. If you try to make total sense of it and fail, you will just end up frusterated, confused, and with less time on your hands than you had when you started. If you succeed, you're God, and could you check this stuff for me?
12. Seeing as the Universe only makes sense most of the time, The Truth only works most of the time. Sorry.
13. If the Universe made total sense, it would get boring very, very quickly.
14. Everybody needs to have faith.
15. Don't make a bigger deal of things than things make out of themselves.
16. Object subjectivism is an oxymoron and generally just pisses people off, so please do us all a favor and trash all the New Age BS.
17. Oxymorons are dumb.**
18. Generally pissing people off is dumb.
19. Pissing off small groups of people who could honestly use a good pissing-off and receiving a genuine sense of satisfaction from this act is pretty cool.
20. The logical extension of cynicism concludes with apathy. Apathy gets nothing done which a. is extremeely boring, b. is invariably worse than getting something done, and c. isn't worth the effort of being cynical in the first place.
21. Freedom is exactly as much trouble as it is worth, which is more than people expect.
22. There is a God, and He's probably laughing at you.
23. There is no Massiah who can make you better than you already, there is no Messiah who can make you better than anyone else is, and if you take a good look you'll find that there is no Messiah who says he can.
24. Every particle in the Universe is trying very hard to relax.
25. Not everybody's as dumb as a. you are, b. you think you are, c.you think they are, and d. you'd like them to be.
26. Not everybody's as smart as a. you are, b. you think you are, c. you think they are, and d. you'd like them to be.
27. Anything whick is absolutely impossible to credibly argue against by its very nature is by its very nature bullshit.
28. Nothing is possible.
29. We live in an objective Universe in which an objectuve Truth applies to all people. If this were not true, things like Love, Understanding, Trust, Faith, Morality, Truth and our existence would be invalid concepts*** and we'd have one hell of a hard time getting along with eachother. (Actually, these things could quite possibly be invalid, and if they are, I'd rather be wrong.)
30. Thee greatest gifts are Love and Money.
31. America is the Human Race's big chance to prove to itself that it can handle freedom. Please, don't fuck it up.
32. The fool and the sage are both much more likely to listen to a friend than an enemy.

*Should be read both ways.

**All concepts which are dumb can be pretty cool under certain circumstances, but trying to apply them to real life is just plain stupid.

***This is true of people of all eras in all regions, which is why the Bible makes as much sense to an isolated tribe pursuing their own culture and speaking their own language on a small jungle peninsula in panama, 1996 as it did to the Protestant revolutionaries in Western Europe during the 1500's.

eMail Brother Kaos at brother_kaos@yahoo.com